Top Ten

TOP 10: Types of people you’re most likely to spot on the train

So, whether you’ve noticed or not but as of the beginning of the year, I started a new job which involves a heavy amount of commuting to and from Manchester.

In line with my typical Top10 pieces, and in the quest to make journey times work with blogging I’ve put together my top ten of people you’re most likely to spot on a train…enjoy!


10. The orienteerer. AKA closet trainspotter

This person knows everything to know about the train your on, it’s route, timetables, how many times it’s broken down in the past 2 years, several travellers. As much as I think they are a bit of a loser, it’s one worth getting to know as you never know when you’ll need their knowledge

 

9. The sniffler

The worst type of traveller in my opinion. They sniff every 2 seconds rather than blow their nose, worst still you end up picking up on it and it wastes your whole journey as you end up waiting to get annoyed at the next sniff. BLOW YOUR F’ing NOSE!

 

8. The table thief

You know the ones, book slab of a laptop (circa 1998 with added battery the size of a brick) placed on the comunial table as well as a stack of papers – they always sit opposite you too so it takes your table allocation… Personally I think they are just playing solitaire or minesweeper as that’s all their windows 95 laptop is good for.

solitaire circa. 1998

 

7. The invisible friends bringers

Just like Tom Hanks in the film cast away, they have an invisible / make believe friend but instead of a football, it’s in the form of a bag sitting proudly next to them… Sorry Mr Bag, do you have a ticket? No? Well get in the overhead storage compartment and stop talking to your owner…

 

6. The tannoy announcer

Even now, when you have “quiet carriages” you still have some dickhead who loves to share their phone call with you… Several times as the signal goes in and out…as they waste the first minute of each reconnection discussing the signal / train…. Oh, they’ve gone again!

Train people

 

5. The book worm

These get through about a page and a half of their 700+ pager every journey…they must be great at remembering though as based on my initial research it should take approximately around half a year to get through a whole book. Enjoy!

 

4. The e-book worm

Not to be confused with number five. Full credit for coming into the 21st century but equally we all know that this is a front for wanting to look intelligent when in fact you are reading a 50 shades book (men included) or Katie Price’s latest money earner..

 

3. The dozer

I look on at these with envy at how easy it is for them to drift back off into a short cat nap at a minutes notice. They never miss their stop either. If I ever did this I’d end up in Glasgow or Bournemouth and still feel and look like I’d been dragged through a hedge too.

 

2. The private schoolers

Essentially the rich kids jumping on board in the hoards with their expensive uniforms, talking about Daddy’s buying a new car, Mummy’s starting her own business, playing music out loud on their smartphones … Realistically we all know daddy’s having a mid life crisis and mummy’s hatching her getaway / divorce plan. Get in the real word kids… and stop playing your music for everyone to listen too.

 

1.The tag along…

You just want a relaxing journey, no issues, just some nice peace and quiet… That all goes tits up when the Tag along chirps up and introduces themselves with some irrelevant fact or point. And then again. And then again until you have no choice but to endure a worthless conversation with them for the whole journey and you know full well they are staying on the train past your stop..Why didn’t I just put my earphones in from the beginning of the journey and at least pretend I was listening to something…!

 

So that’s my top 10 of people I’ve noticed travel on the trains. I haven’t included the “jobsworth train conductor” or the overly chatty “where did I put my ticket” ticket dodger, the “my bike needs 3 seats cyclist” and finally the “full business attire except for my comfy trainers” people as I’m not convinced they are ten to the dozen.

 

Are you a regular train commuter to work and have you spotted some people I’ve missed? Feel free to leave them in the comments below 🙂

Until next time

Jim x