With D fast approaching her first birthday (only two months to go), people ask that annoying question… “Planning on having anymore?” or “you’ll be ready for another one soon”. The answer to both questions is a big fat NO!
Its true, it does feel somewhat easier when you have a second child, but let me just clarify what “easier” means…. Easier in terms of what to do as parents, when to introduce solids, how to change a nappy, how to make a bottle up. You certainly don’t stick to the rules given by professionals like a classroom swot, you take what the health visitor says with a pinch of salt, you know to trust your own parental intuitions but thats where the term “easy” ends…. Bringing up two is certainly harder than one.
Here’s my top 10 reasons why two children are harder than one…
10. Meal Times
Cooking for you and a toddler was bad enough, but potentially you could have 3 different meals on the go now and meal times quickly feel like you are head chef of a Hungry Horse pub, you also then proceed to spent the next hour afterwards tidying up what feels like the aftermath of a food fight given the amount of food on the floor… and don’t forget the washing up.
We have already started to think about what we could do for D’s first birthday but trying to decide who should be on the invite list without worrying about offending someone by not inviting them becomes an issue.. Should you invite your parenting friends and children made from your first born as they know the little one, but aren’t the same age group? Add into that general friends made before you had children (and still don’t have children now), new friends made following your second child and you might as well be planning for a wedding or hiring out the O2 Arena…
8. Me time
Call me selfish but everyone still needs some me time, time to ensure you don’t simply become a Mum and Dad and not a person in your own right. Time to recharge your batteries, explore your interests, visit friends… even write a blog. This time is extremely finite now so make sure you use it wisely, time management skill is the biggest skill you should learn to develop should you want this.
You were always bottom of the clothing pile when it came to buying new clothes and your first born was always better dressed than you. Throw into that another one and you’re lucky you’re even wearing clothes so be grateful for the 2000 Ibiza holiday shirt you are wearing today…. Outfit of the Day my arse…!
Where as you could guarantee you would more than likely be late for an appointment, play date or such like with one, two is twice as bad. You have to contend with the fun of a baby who could decide they want to sleep for England, just as you need to get out by 10am, a last minute “up the back / full change” poo and all the other sick related changes. Throw in to that your older toddler, young child and their full on melt downs as they don’t want to wear the stripy top today, they want the tacky one which you had thought was hidden from sight or the fact they aren’t happy because they can’t ride in the front (which they do in Mummy’s / Daddy’s car) so throw into that a car seat change at last minute and there is no way you can make it on time now.
5. Adventures / Days Out
We all know the drill, if out for the day you pack the change bag with everything you can think of in case the little one needs it and end up looking like the bag man / lady you regularly see in the town centre begging for money… pop two kids into the equation and you might as well be moving home… Cue one of you (Mum or Dad) looking like a donkey bought along just to carry bags, scooters, coats and a character like Buzz or Woody which your eldest was set on bringing alone first thing but now can’t be bothered to carry….
4. Toilet time
As if having a crap with one toddler interrupting wasn’t bad enough, you now have one pulling themselves up your leg whilst the other is playing out the latest scene of Peppa pig in the bathroom whilst your just wanting to wipe and go… :-/
3. Sexy Time…
Lets not even go there with this one… 😉
2. Bed Time
You’ve spent the last few years getting back to normality in terms of bed time routines and you think you have it nailed. Wrong? You’ve now got two so bed time becomes a military operation with strategic planning involved just to try and hit your time deadline of 7pm. Bath time isn’t so bad as both can be popped in together… until D decides to turn the water brown, H freaks and you have to perform a swift bath evacuation of both little ones, one of which you haven’t began to wash their hair and the other currently looks like a scene from curly sue… You become a soaked / poo strained mess but with the view of bedtime in sight somehow manage to regain plan, complete story time, teeth brushing and night bottle accordingly just as the one show is finishing (I don’t watch it, just use it as a time measurement so don’t judge) only to remember you now need to empty brown bath and perform disinfectant accordingly…
1. Splitting your time
This one is a tough one for me, H loves spending time playing, having fun and being fools with Daddy but there are sometimes when this isn’t possible as I’m feeding or looking after D but boy do they know how to make you feel guilty when you can’t. I always worry I am spending enough time with both of them, especially working full time. This also goes the same for Mrs F, (not that she makes me feel guilty) am I showing her enough affection? I know how much I love her and how proud I am of her and how she raises our children, manages the house when I’m at work and is an all round superwoman, whilst still looking gorgeous. If I could clone myself I would :-/
Of course, this all irrelevant though as I wouldn’t change having two children for anything, even to regain my ability to buy all the gadgets in the world (which I’ve omitted from my Top Ten so I must be growing up), as the love, joy and happiness they bring to our lives are completely worth anything that wants to be thrown in our direction. I’d wear rags, I’d happily clean poo from baths, I’d regularly become a donkey, have little sleep, continue with public poo’ing as this little treasures are worth so so much and more.
Those of you who have more than two children, I really do bow my cap to you, I really don’t know how you manage it….As for having anymore myself though…. FORGET IT! 🙂