The pressures of being young…
I haven’t really written as freely or as much as I’d like to lately but I’m feeling a little for my five year old son at the moment. Its really tough being a parent when you little ones are babies but its even harder as they grow their personalities and begin their schooling adventures.
H is a gentle and sensitive little soul, he isn’t your typical rough and ready 5yo boy, don’t get me wrong, he loves nothing more than “furkling’ outdoors in the garden, filling water devices up, getting inventive with his imagination. He also loves technology (obviously he gets that from his Dad), LEGO, superheroes and….. enjoying a cuddle, showing his affection.
Having a flexible job at times, I also get to be a playground Dad when it allows and I get to see what he’s like with his classmates too, he loves nothing more than being early in the morning for the school run so he can play in the playground, the reason for this, a group of classmates who also get there at the same time, a group of girls to be precise. H loves the attention, loves running around chasing and laughing with them, saying silly things, being teamed up on by the girls. However I also see the change in him when some of his boy classmates arrive… he becomes slightly more introvert, the smile and laughter he shows when being grabbed and chased by the girls suddenly reduces as he gets pushed and pulled by the boys, and unlike some children, H rarely tells them to stop (with any kind of conviction at least) or displays the desire to push and pull them back (thankfully) and give them a taste of their own medicine… also, and rather typically, their parents are rarely around or too busy staring into their phones than telling their kids to not push others.
You see, H feels like he can express himself more when he’s in the girls company, and due to his sensitive nature, quickly becomes intimidated and reserved when the boisterous boys come along. As a parent its heartbreaking and frustrating to see at times, him getting pushed around and not feeling able to confidently stick up for himself. Sometimes I wish he’d just push them back with such force it would cause the other children to feel like he feels and maybe they would be more cautious about things going forward, I know its not the answer and would always discourage him from fighting fire with fire but the protective parent in me just wishes it at times.
I also know and understand the fact that kids can be brutal and mean at that age without truly realising the consequences…. H loves music, adores musical shows, performances, in fact he even has his own DJ Decks which he had for Christmas (his number 1 present request), so you’d think a school disco would be his idea of fun… wrong! He has a forthcoming Valentines disco this week which he has decided he doesn’t wish to go. Mrs F and I was so shocked when he told us this as typically he’d love the fact he gets a hotdog, drink, some sweets and a glow stick as well as getting to dance around to music… His reasons….? He doesn’t have any girl to “marry” at the disco… My heart sinks at this, my boy who loves nothing more than playing with the girls, gets mustered out when the more confident (/gobby) boys come along .
The parent in me wants to believe some little shit has told him he can’t go due to this reason although truth be told I’m not sure whether its his sensitive side saying this or whether another child has told him this, either way he won’t tell his who or how he has come to this decision. Despite us trying to convince him he doesn’t need to “marry” any girl at this age, nor does it need to be a reason to be able to attend the disco, he is still clear he doesn’t wish to go.
Whether he changes his mind about the disco remains to be seen but it just goes to show that even at this young age the pressure is already there for our children, particular for my beautiful, loving little boy. I try not to wrap him up in cotton wool as want him to choose his own paths in life but on this occasion I just wish I could.
Parenting is hard but so is being a 5 year old….
Until next time